[ELECTRIC FENCE HUMMING]
[MAN ON RADIO] SAKEASI!
YEAH, GO AHEAD.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHECK IN FIVE MINUTES AGO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M CHILLING, MAN.
I'M ON MY LUNCH BREAK.
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
JUST FINE.
RULES ARE RULES, SAKEASI.
EVERY 30 MINUTES. NO EXCUSES!
YEAH. SURE, MAN.
WHATEVER.
[FENCE HUMMING]
[BEEPING]
[FEMALE COMPUTERIZED VOICE] ACCESS AUTHORIZED.
DAMN!
[BIRD FLUTTERING]
[SNORTING]
[ANIMAL GROWLING]
[SCREAMS]
[GASPING]
[ANIMAL GROWLS]
[SCREAMING]
[ROARS]
DAMN IT!
THAT IS AUSTRALIAN CHAMPAGNE.
NOW I MUST HAVE SAID A DOZEN TIMES THAT YOU WILL SERVE FRENCH
UNTIL THEY'RE TOO DRUNK TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY'RE DRINKING.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND? YES.
DO IT!
AWESOME, SIR. EYES LIKE A HAWK.
PRIMAL PARK. BRILLIANT, SIR. BRILLIANT.
ALAN, DO I LOOK LIKE A POLITICIAN?
JUST SAVE YOUR SYCOPHANTIC REMARKS TILL YOU'RE BACK IN WASHINGTON.
I'M JUST GIVING PRAISE WHERE IT'S DUE.
I JUST WANT YOU TO STOP THE BROWNNOSING LONG ENOUGH
TO DO AN ENTRY PROTOCOL CHECK WITH SECURITY.
SHOULDN'T I BE HERE WHEN MR. GRANT ARRIVES?
NO, I CAN HANDLE IT. HE'S MY BROTHER-IN-LAW.
EX, SIR.
YES, WELL, I SUPPOSE I SHOULD COUNT MYSELF LUCKY IN THAT RESPECT.
WHY DO YOU NEED HIS MONEY? THE JAPANESE ARE FALLING ALL OVER-- IT'S NOT HIS MONEY!
I WANT HIM TO COVET WHAT I HAVE.
I WANT HIM TO CRAWL TO ME ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES AND BEG ME TO CUT HIM IN.
THEN I WANT TO SEE HIM WEEP WHEN I CUT HIM OFF.
IT MIGHT SOUND HEARTLESS, ALAN, BUT IT'S NOT.
I MEANT IT IN A CARING WAY.
NOW, GET YOUR SHINY LITTLE BUTT OUT OF HERE.
OKAY. OH, AND, ALAN.
[SIGHS] GET IT RIGHT.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH IS RIDING ON THE SUCCESS OF THIS PRESENTATION?
NO, I DON'T. WELL, NOT EXACTLY, SIR.
I'M NOT STRONG WITH FIGURES.
$872,423,000
AND NOT THAT IT MATTERS, 42 CENTS.
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY HAVE A WAY WITH FIGURES, SIR.
[CHUCKLING]
YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF, CAN YOU?
JUST REMEMBER, IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG--
I MEAN ANYTHING-- YOU'RE TOAST.
AND YOU, MY FISCALLY CHALLENGED FRIEND, WILL BE FREEZING
YOUR BUTT OFF BACK IN WASHINGTON FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY,
"WHERE ARE MY GUCCIS?"
NOW GO.
[SIGHS]
SAKEASI CHECKED IN YET?
NO. NOT YET.
HE'S A-GATE 21, RIGHT?
[MAN] AREA 31, GATE 4.
WELL, HE'S LATE.
IS HE ON THE BOOZE AGAIN?
NO.
MOST ASSUREDLY NOT.
MISS SAVANNAH, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
I CAN VOUCH FOR HIM.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF.
GRANT!
DELIGHTED YOU COULD MAKE IT.
NILES. YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD NEVER MISS
THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOU FALL ON YOUR FACE.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOW'S YOUR PORTFOLIO?
I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WERE CRUSHED IN THE MARKET.
BUY LOW, SELL HIGH
IS A CONCEPT YOU FIND DIFFICULT?
YOU SHOULD UPGRADE YOUR SPIES, GRANT.
LOOK AROUND. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.
THE TRUTH?
NOW THAT IS A CONCEPT I KNOW YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH.
SO I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SEEING SOMETHING HERE, BUT I HAVE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD SEE.
DON'T STAND TOO CLOSE TO HIM. HE'S LIABLE TO DROOL ON YOU.
NILES, AUTUMN.
DELIGHTED.
VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
MY SISTER SUFFERED THE GREAT MISFORTUNE OF BEING MARRIED TO HIM.
IT WAS THE MOST PAINFUL THREE MONTHS OF HER LIFE.
THREE MONTHS. SHE SAID, "THAT'S IT.
THAT'S LONG ENOUGH."
I GOTTA TELL YOU, RARELY HAVE I SEEN A DIVORCE
THAT WAS SO DELIGHTFUL.
I WAS ACTUALLY MOVED TO TEARS...OF JOY.
YOU KNOW, GRANT, I THINK WE CAN DO WITHOUT THE LEAVE IT TO BEAVER REMINISCENCES.
I HAVEN'T KNOWN A FAMILY THIS CLOSE SINCE THE MANSONS.
[LAUGHS]
PLEASE.
THANK YOU, NILES.
[FEMALE COMPUTERIZED VOICE] CODE ORANGE.
[WOMAN] WE GOT A CODE ORANGE ON GATE 4.
THERE'S BEEN ENDLESS TROUBLE WITH THAT CONTROL BOX.
IT'S A FALSE ALARM FOR SURE.
YEAH, IT LOOKS LIKE IT.
SO YOU'RE GONNA GO DOWN AND CHECK IT OUT?
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY. THIS IS THE EIGHTH TIME IT HAS MALFUNCTIONED THIS WEEK.
WE'LL REPLACE THE WHOLE UNIT IN THE NEXT SERVICE.
SO WHAT IF THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG?
THIS COULD COST ME MY JOB.
WE SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. GUYS!
ALAN, IF YOU WANNA GO DOWN THERE, BE OUR GUEST,
BUT THE PROTOCOL IS THREE FAILURES IN ONE WEEK,
REPLACE AT THE NEXT SERVICE, OKAY?
NOBODY GIVES A RAT'S ASS ABOUT SECURITY AROUND HERE.
[WHISPERING MOCKINGLY] "NOBODY GIVES A RAT'S ASS ABOUT SECURITY AROUND HERE."
[SNARLS]
[PIG SNORTING]
[TIGER GROWLS]
HEY, HOW'S IT GOIN'?
¶ [MEN SINGING IN FIJIAN]
HI, GUYS.
WHY ARE THESE DUDES WEARING DRESSES?
IT'S TRADITION, DUMBASS.
KIRK, DO YOU HAVE TO EMBARRASS US THE SECOND WE GET HERE?
ALL I'M SAYING IS I DIDN'T FLY HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD TO SEE SOME GUYS IN DRAG.
I CAME TO SEE SOME TOPLESS NATIVE CHICKS.
WOW, OUR ONLY JOCK TURNS OUT TO BE A PIG.
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
THIS "PIG" HAS THE GOODS.
THE POWER ENVELOPE THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING TO OPEN,
AND WHO DO THEY TRUST TO HANG ON TO IT?
THE JOCK!
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST RIP IT UP. MORON.
I'LL HOLD ON TO THAT.
THIS MAY BE A JOKE TO YOU, BUT IT'S NOT TO ME.
DON'T LET HIM GET TO YOU.
HE WANTS TO WIN JUST AS MUCH AS WE DO.
YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT, ALYS.
BRAINS ARE WHAT'S NEEDED TO WIN THIS WHOLE THING.
YEAH, RIGHT, AND HE WAS STANDING BEHIND THE DOOR
WHEN THEY PASSED THEM OUT.
I AM SO OVER MUSCLES.
[FEMALE COMPUTERIZED VOICE] SMOKE DETECTED.
HEY, SMOKE ALARM.
WHERE? SOUTH RIM. SERVICE TUNNEL 7.
THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANYONE DOWN THERE.
SHOW ME.
BRING IT IN A LITTLE BIT CLOSER.
THERE'S YOUR CULPRIT.
IT'S BRIAN.
DAMN.
BRIAN, IT'S SAVANNAH. COME IN.
BRIAN.
PUT THE TORCH AWAY.
EITHER HE CAN'T HEAR YOU OR HE'S IGNORING YOU.
YEAH.
BRIAN, YOU SET THE ALARM OFF.
NILES DOESN'T WANT ANY PROBLEMS TODAY. CHEEKY FELLOW.
HE'S IGNORING YOU. YOU THINK?
WELL,
I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO KILL HIM.
SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD, MISS SAVANNAH.
A LITTLE LESS BLOOD TO CLEAN UP.
[NILES] ROBBIE!
GREAT TO SEE YOU. HOW'S YOUR FATHER?
OH, HE'S FINE, SIR. HE SEND HIS REGARDS.
WELL, WELCOME TO VALALOLA.
I'M NILES GREEN. I'M THE MANAGER, THE OWNER AND YOUR HOST.
I'M IMPRESSED. SO YOU SHOULD BE.
COME ON. LET'S GET YOU CHECKED IN.
THIS WAY.
¶ [FIJIAN LANGUAGE]
OKAY, LISTEN UP, GUYS.
I AM SUPPOSED TO PERSONALLY READ THE INSTRUCTIONS
WHEN WE GET HERE, SO...ALAINA,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.
TOUCH ME AGAIN, KIRK, AND YOU'LL BE DEADER THAN DISCO. OOOH!
[LAUGHING] [CLEARS THROAT]
"WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL PHI BETA SCAVENGER HUNT." WHOO-HOO!
"OUR NEW PLEDGES ALONG WITH THOSE
"OF OUR SISTER SORORITY HOUSE
HAVE 24 HOURS FROM--"
FROM THE TIME WE FINISH THESE DRINKS.
THE-- OKAY. FINE.
THE TIME WE FINISH THESE DRINKS "TO COMPLETE THEIR MISSION.
HAND OUT ENVELOPES TO EACH."
NO, NO. SEE, THAT'S A PARENTHETICAL. YOU DON'T READ THAT PART.
I KNOW WHAT A PARASITICAL IS, OKAY?
HERE.
DON'T OPEN 'EM UNTIL I TELL YOU TO.
"INSIDE EACH ENVELOPE IS A CARD
WITH THE NAME OF AN OBJECT THAT EXISTS ON..."
[SIGHS]
VAL, UH...
VALALOLA. VALALO-- ISLAND.
"HERE ARE THE RULES. THERE ARE NO RULES.
"YOU MAY BRIBE, BEG, BORROW OR STEAL IN ORDER
"TO FIND YOUR ASSIGNED OBJECT.
"THOSE WHO SUCCEED WILL PLEDGE.
"THOSE WHO FAIL DEFINE THEMSELVES AS INFERIOR...
"COLLEGIATE PEONS UNWORTHY OF INTERCOURSE
WITH PHI BETA BROTHERS AND SISTERS."
OPEN YOUR ENVELOPES.
"A CONCH SHELL." WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S, LIKE, ONE OF THOSE BIG SHELLS THAT YOU BLOW LIKE A TRUMPET.
THEY GOT 'EM IN THOSE TARZAN MOVIES.
GREAT. WHAT'D YOU GUYS GET?
I GOT "AN ANTIQUE CEREMONIAL SHELL SPEAR."
WHY WOULD YOU WANNA SPEAR SHELLS?
NO, IT'S A SPEAR WITH SHELLS ON IT, BOZO.
"THE BOWL FROM A COTTON CANDY MACHINE."
"A CANNIBAL FORK?"
AH! WAY TO GO!
IN YOUR DREAMS.
MINE SAYS "A BOX OF M-80S."
WHAT'S AN M-80?
[KIRK] FIRECRACKERS. LIKE CHERRY BOMBS.
BACK HOME, WE USED TO TIE 'EM TO BULLFROGS AND BLOW 'EM--
KIRK, YOU KNOW, YOU ARE LIVING PROOF
THAT THE HUMAN RACE IS EVOLVING...BACKWARDS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ATTITUDE SUCKS, GOTH GIRL. YOU KNOW THAT?
READ MY LIPS, BEEFCAKE.
A GOTH'S ATTITUDE IS SUPPOSED TO SUCK.
[HISSING] GUYS, LET'S NOT BICKER AND FIGHT OVER WHO KILLED WHO, OKAY?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS.
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT THE PLAGUE.
HEY.
HELLO?
WOW.
CASUAL FRIDAY?
WITH ACCESSORIES.
[CHUCKLING]
[FEMALE COMPUTERIZED VOICE] VIDEO THREE DISABLED.
WHAT THE...
HMM.
OH.
OOH!
WOW!
[BEEPING]
FALSE ALARM, MY ASS!
SECURITY, THIS IS ALAN. [MAN] GO AHEAD.
FALSE ALARM, MY ASS!
WE'VE GOT A GENUINE CODE ORANGE HERE.
OKAY, WE'LL CHECK IT OUT.
¶ [UP-TEMPO INSTRUMENTAL ON RADIO]
OOH! [FLIES BUZZING]
OH, NICE.
¶ [CONTINUES]
I HATE THAT SONG.
[TIGER SNARLING]
[SCREAMING]
[FLESH RIPPING] [TIGER SNARLING]
[SAVANNAH] OH! COME ON, TIGER!
[MAN ON RADIO] SAVANNAH? ARE YOU STILL TIED UP DOWN THERE?
UH...NOT AT THE MOMENT. WHAT'S UP?
WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM. THERE'S A CONFIRMED BREACH AT GATE 4.
UH, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
SHIT!
CHECK THAT OUT.
OH, MAN! WE'RE TOTALLY PORKED.
THIS WOULD BE THE ONLY PLACE TO HAVE A COTTON CANDY MACHINE.
WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE.
HEY, THE RULES ARE IS THAT THERE ARE NO RULES.
THINK YOU CAN HACK THE SECURITY SYSTEM?
YEAH, MAYBE. I MEAN, I USED TO HACK INTO HOTELS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YOU KNOW, GET FREE ROOMS FOR FRIENDS.
BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? IT'S CLOSED.
LET'S GO.
OH, NICE, NICE.
ALL RIGHT.
NOPE. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE OUT OF LUCK.
WELL, LET'S MAKE SOME LUCK.
DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[ALYS] THE FRAGILE X GENE AT WORK.
THE WHAT GENE? FRAGILE X.
IT'S A VERY RARE GENE,
ALTHOUGH IT IS FOUND IN 92% OF PEOPLE IN JAIL.
FIGURES.
WELL, AS THE SAY IN ITALY,
VOILA!
ONE, TWO, THREE.
I AM SO OVER CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR.
YOU KNOW, THERE MIGHT BE THE KIND OF STUFF WE'RE LOOKING FOR IN THERE.
I GUESS BEG, BORROW AND STEAL NOW INCLUDES BREAKING AND ENTERING.
LET'S GO.
SACHARIAH.
TELL ME THE CATS ARE HERE.
OH, SHOOT!
THERE'S BEEN A SYSTEMS FAILURE DOWN AT ONE OF THE GATES.
THEY WERE DUE BACK FOR FEEDING HALF AN HOUR AGO.
ARE THEY FAIRLY REGULAR?
LIKE CLOCKWORK USUALLY.
SO WHY THE HELL AREN'T THEY HERE?
MAYBE THEY'VE EATEN ALREADY.
WHAT?
THERE'S WILD PIGS OUT THERE.
ALL KINDS OF STUFF FOR THEM TO EAT.
DON'T WORRY, SAVANNAH. THEY'LL BE BACK.
[TIGER SNARLING]
THIS IS FROM THE CELLAR OF A PARTICULARLY CONCEITED YOUNG DUKE.
WHILE LOCKED IN A GAME OF BACCARAT IN MONTE CARLO,
WE EACH BET SOMETHING WE PRIZED DEARLY.
MY LEAR JET AGAINST HIS WINE CELLAR.
GUESS WHO WON. [CHUCKLES]
THE DUKE, HE DIDN'T CARE.
HE'D STOLEN IT FROM IMELDA MARCOS.
WHICH IS THE LEAST I'D EXPECT FROM A FAMILY THAT HAD BEEN FILTHY RICH FOR 800 YEARS.
AND RICH IS WHAT I AM GONNA BE WHEN MY PARK OPENS.
HI. VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
[WOMAN] LOVELY PARTY. [MAN] YEAH.
[CLEARS THROAT] [FEEDBACK WHINES]
UM, LADIES, GENTLEMEN,
INVESTORS--
I'M NILES GREEN,
AND I'M HONORED BY YOUR PRESENCE
AS WE CELEBRATE THE COMPLETION OF VALALOLA PRIMAL PARK,
STAGE 1.
[APPLAUSE]
[WOMAN] WELL DONE. WELL DONE.
FIJI...
AND THIS-- OUR VERY OWN PRIVATE ISLAND.
IT'S THE PERFECT TESTING GROUND
FOR A CONCEPT IN LIVE ENTERTAINMENT WHICH IS UNIQUE,
EXCITING,
AT THE VERY CUTTING EDGE OF THE VETERINARY AND GENETIC SCIENCES.
AND MAY I SAY SOMETHING WHICH I FIRMLY BELIEVE?
HIS ACCENT IS VERY IMPRESSIVE, DON'T YOU THINK?
[NILES] WORTH ALL THE INVESTMENT YOU HAVE EVER MADE.
[APPLAUSE]
BY NEXT SPRING,
OUR FIVE-STAR RESORT
WILL CONNECT TO A MIDWAY WITH THE MOST SPECTACULAR RIDES
AND OUR SPECIAL ATTRACTION,
THE WORLD'S MOST UNIQUE ZOO
FEATURING THE MOST ASTOUNDING LIVING CREATURES
EVER SEEN BY MORTAL MEN.
[CROWD MURMURING]
I DON'T WANT TO BLIND YOU WITH TOO MUCH SCIENCE,
BUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SHARE WITH YOU,
YOU MUST KEEP SECRET FOR THE MOMENT.
A RECENT BREAKTHROUGH IN THE GENETIC MULTIPLICATION OF MITOCHONDRIAL DNA.
HAS LED TO OUR FIRST MAJOR SUCCESS HERE AT VALALOLA.
AND IN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS, I'M ASSURED BY MY SCIENTIFIC TEAM
THAT MULTIPLE REPLICATIONS WILL INDEED HAVE BEEN CARRIED OUT.
NOW WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN?
IT MEANS, MY FRIENDS, THAT VISITORS TO THIS ISLAND
WILL SEE A WORLD THAT MANKIND HAS NOT GLIMPSED
FOR NEARLY A MILLION YEARS.
GENETIC MIRACLES REASONABLY PRICED.
[CHUCKLES]
AND FOR YOU, THE INVESTOR, THE CHOSEN ONE,
OUR HAPPY BAND OF FISCAL BROTHERS,
AN ENDLESS STREAM OF UNIMAGINABLE WEALTH.
HMM? IS THAT GOOD?
THERE'LL BE DOLLARS
AND DUCATS AND SHILLINGS,
SHEKELS,
RUBLES AND YEN AND FRANCS,
PESOS, PESETAS, EUROS-- THE NEW KID ON THE BLOCK.
AND LET'S NOT FORGET OUR OLD HUMBLE FRIEND, THE ZLOTY.
A TIDAL WAVE OF CASH
ROLLING INTO YOUR PRIVATE-- NO, ULTRA-PRIVATE,
ÜBER-PRIVATE NUMBERED AUSTRIAN BANK ACCOUNT
WHICH I WILL GIVE AS A GIFT TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU
WHO INVESTS WITH ME IN THIS DREAM.
[APPLAUSE]
YOU COME WITH ME ON THIS JOURNEY...
AND WHEN THEY WRITE THE FINANCIAL HISTORY OF THE 21ST CENTURY...
THEY WILL START...
WITH YOUR NAMES.
PRIMAL PARK. [APPLAUSE]
PRIMAL PARK.
¶ [CHANTING IN FIJIAN]
THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME. WELCOME, INDEED.
THANK YOU.
WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU.
PLEASE INVEST IN OUR LITTLE PRIMAL PARK.
HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU. GREAT TO SEE YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THIS IS SO EXCITING. INDEED. THANK YOU.
¶ [CHANTING ENDS]
[APPLAUSE]
LADIES, GENTLEMEN-- FOOD, WINE.
HELP YOURSELVES. THE OFFICE IS OPEN.
BRING YOUR CHECKBOOKS. WE ARE OPEN FOR BUSINESS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
SIR. EXCUSE ME. UM, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
WE'VE GOT A CODE ORANGE ON GATE 4 AND THE CATS HAVEN'T RETURNED TO THEIR PEN.
SO?
SO I RECOMMEND THAT WE LOCK DOWN THE PARK,
REMOVE THE GUESTS, GET THEM OFF THE ISLAND.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
RUINING THE INVESTORS' CELEBRATION IS NOT AN OPTION.
SAVANNAH, MY REPUTATION
AND YOUR ASS IS ON THE LINE HERE.
SIR, I'M SORRY.
THESE PEOPLE ARE IN IMMINENT DANGER.
THIS IS PRIMAL PARK.
DANGER'S NOT IN OUR VOCABULARY.
PEOPLE COULD GET EATEN.
THE ONLY THING THAT'S GONNA GET EATEN AROUND HERE
IS SOME VERY EXPENSIVE CANAPÉ.
I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT.
YOU GET THOSE CATS BACK IN THEIR CAGES,
AND MAKE SURE NONE OF MY GUESTS FIND OUT ABOUT THIS.
BUT, SIR-- DO IT.
FINE.
DAMN! SWIMSUITS.
STRIKE ONE.
HE WON'T LOCK IT DOWN OR EVACUATE.
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT.
THE CATS WEREN'T IN THE CAGES, RIGHT? RIGHT.
WHY DON'T WE TURN EVERYTHING IN THE PARK ON?
LIGHTS, MUSIC, P.A. SYSTEMS, YOU NAME IT.
IF THEY'RE HIDING SOMEWHERE, WE COULD DRIVE 'EM INTO THE LAB.
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR SPICE GIRLS ALBUM? YEAH.
SOUVENIRS.
COME ON.
[FEMALE COMPUTERIZED VOICE] UNAUTHORIZED... YOU SET OFF AN ALARM!
SHH! THE DOORS WEREN'T WIRED AND WE CHECKED THE CAMERAS, REMEMBER?
[ALARM WAILING] UNAUTHORIZED INTRUSION.
COME ON. PLEASE LEAVE THIS AREA IMMEDIATELY
AND REPORT TO SECURITY.
[SAVANNAH] SAKEASI, SECURITY. DO YOU READ?
[STATIC ON RADIO]
SAKEASI, IT'S SAVANNAH. DO YOU READ?
WHAT EXACTLY DID ALAN SAY?
CODE ORANGE 31, GATE 4.
DAMN IT, SAKEASI.
MISS SAVANNAH, HE'S MY FRIEND. LET ME SORT THIS OUT.
OKAY. THANK YOU.
WE'RE TOTALLY SCREWED. THEY KNOW WE'RE HERE.
GET TOUGH, MAN.
STOP BEIN' SUCH A WUSS.
BOO! [LAUGHS]
KEEP IT DOWN.
GOD! THERE'S CAMERAS EVERYWHERE.
[ALYS] KIRK'S RIGHT. WELL, THAT'S ONCE IN A ROW.
WHAT, DID YOU GUYS FOLLOW US?
THIS MUST BE WHERE THEY INTENDED US TO FIND ALL THE STUFF, RIGHT?
DUH.
FIRST THING WE GOTTA DO IS SHUT DOWN THE CAMERAS AND ALARMS
SO WE CAN BREAK INTO THESE SHOPS.
WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS CRIMINAL STUFF ANYWAY?
CAN'T WE JUST PICK A LOCK OR SOMETHING? IT'S NOT CRIMINAL.
IT'S R.O.T.C.
FOR HIM, IT'S AS NATURAL AS PULLING THE WINGS OFF A FLY.
GUYS, STAY HERE. I THINK I KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I'M GOING WITH HIM.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SHH, BE QUIET!
AW, DAMN.
HOLD THIS.
OKAY, BACK UP.
BOBBY!
I THINK YOU'VE PICKED UP SOME VERY BAD HABITS.
LIE DOWN WITH DOGS, GET UP WITH FLEAS.
SO WHY'D YOU FOLLOW ME ANYWAY?
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NEED SOME HELP.
MY FATHER PROGRAMMED SOME OF THE BASIC CODE FOR LINUX.
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
YOU MUST BE FILTHY RICH.
NO, HE SIGNED IT AWAY.
LOYALTY TO THE COMPANY AND ALL THAT.
YEAH, MY FATHER WAS THE SAME WAY.
YEAH, MY DAD WAS HARDCORE.
WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME DATE TILL I WAS EIGHTEEN.
I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T TELL YOU,
BUT I'M 20 AND I STILL HAVEN'T REALLY DATED.
BUT YOU'RE SUCH A NICE GUY.
YOU THINK SO?
YEAH, I THINK SO.
WATCH OUT.
NICE.
LET'S GO.
SAKEASI!
COME ON.
BINGO.
THIS IS IT.
OH, BINGO. I CAN PLUG INTO THE SYSTEM RIGHT HERE.
GREAT. UH, THIRD ONE UP FROM THE BOTTOM, RIGHT?
OH. YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.
[FEMALE COMPUTERIZED VOICE] UNIT DISABLED.
DISABLED.
DIS-DIS-DIS-DIS--
[KIRK] ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
I NEED A CONCH SHELL, SO LET'S SPREAD OUT AND CHECK THE SOUVENIR SHOPS.
TIME-OUT, BOZO. THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT YOU. YEAH. NO KIDDING, KIRK.
YOU ARE SO SELFISH.
MY GOD, WE'VE ALL GOT THINGS TO FIND HERE, AND THE CLOCK'S TICKING.
AND LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH SIMPLER
IF YOU WOULD JUST STOP WHINING. [SCOFFS]
HEY, YOU GUYS, ROBBIE SHUT DOWN THE ENTIRE SYSTEM--
CAMERA SECURITY, THE LOT.
HA! SEE, I TOLD YOU I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING.
YOU DIDN'T DO IT, JACKASS. HE DID.
ANYBODY COULD HAVE HACKED THIS PLACE.
THEY USED THE NAME OF THEIR HOTEL AS THE PASSWORD. THEIR SECURITY SUCKS.
[FLIES BUZZING]
[BRUSH RUSTLES]
[WHISPERING] SECURITY, SECURITY.
COME IN PLEASE.
ROBBIE'S GOT THE COTTON CANDY THING,
ALAINA'S GOT THE SPEAR,
ALYS NEEDS THE BOX OF M-80S,
AND MY FAVORITE CHICK IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, COLLETTE,
NEEDS THE CANNIBAL FORK.
THROUGH THE HEAD, IF YOU ASK ME.
I THINK WE SHOULD SPLIT UP INTO TEAMS.
ALYS AND ROBBIE, ME AND COLLETTE--
WHOA, WHOA! ONE OF YOU CHICKS GOES WITH ME.
UH-UH, KIRK.
GROWNUPS ONLY ON OUR TEAM.
WELL, YOU BETTER MAKE IT FAST.
ONCE THEY FIND OUT THE ALARMS ARE ALL OFF,
THIS PLACE IS GONNA BE CRAWLING WITH SECURITY DUDES.
STUPID, FREAKING, LOSER CHICKS.
[TIGER SNARLING]
[SNARLING]
[SCREAMS] [CRUNCHING]
THIS ISN'T GOOD. POWER'S DOWN.
SAVANNAH HERE. I NEED A SIGNAL CHECK. ANYONE READ?
[STATIC ON RADIO]
MUST BE THE TRANSMITTER.
THAT MEANS THAT THE CATS CAN GET OUT AT ANY ONE OF THESE GATES.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THIS POWER FAILURE JUST HAPPENED.
THAT MEANS THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THEY'RE ALL STILL INSIDE.
THIS OUGHT TO KEEP 'EM DOWN
UNTIL YOU GET ALL THESE GATES TIED OFF.
OKAY. HEY, BRI.
HEADS UP, ALL RIGHT?
RIGHT.
YOU TOO.
DON'T SHOOT! OH!
DAMN! YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME.
THE POWER'S DOWN ON THE SECURITY SYSTEM. I CAN'T REACH BASE.
I KNOW. SAVANNAH'S TYING UP THE GATES.
YOU SEE ANY OF THE CATS? I GOT LUCKY.
IT LOOKS LIKE THEY WERE WORN OUT FROM HUNTING PIGS MOST LIKELY.
I SOUNDED THE HORN. BOTH WENT INTO THE CAGES WITHOUT A SHOT. YES!
[LAUGHS] I GOTTA SAY IT AGAIN.
YOU FIJIAN WARRIORS HAVE IT ALL OVER US PALE WHITE GUYS.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT'S GOING ON.
IT COULD BE A VIRUS. WE DON'T KNOW.
WE'LL USE THE BACKUP POWER. YEAH, BUT IT'S WEIRD.
IT'S ON IN SOME AREAS AND NOT IN OTHERS.
I PAID 2.8 MILLION DOLLARS FOR THAT SYSTEM. JUST GET IT GOING!
¶ [BAND SINGING IN FIJIAN]
UM, THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE.
WHAT?
NO. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T SAY.
COME ON, OUT WITH IT.
WELL, THE NEW TECHNICIAN--
HE TOLD ME SOME GOSSIP ABOUT YOU AND THE LADY.
WHAT? GIVE ME A BREAK. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH SAVANNAH AND I?
NO, NO, NO, MY FRIEND. IT'S JUST THAT--
BUT WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MEN WHO WORKED HERE BEFORE AND WHO...
WHO WHAT?
NOTHING, BUT WE FIJIANS ARE WHAT YOU MIGHT SAY...
SUPERSTITIOUS.
WE BELIEVE IN MAGIC BETWEEN PEOPLE, GOOD AND BAD.
WELL, THREE MEN IN A ROW
CAME INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BEAUTIFUL LADY AND...
ALL THREE ARE NO LONGER HERE.
WHERE'D THEY GO?
ALL THREE DIED.
WHAT? IN TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE WAYS.
SO, YOU THINK THAT SAVANNAH HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS?
OF COURSE NOT.
SHE IS THE SWEETEST, FINEST AMERICAN WOMAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN,
BUT HER FIRST LOVER WAS KILLED BY AN ANACONDA.
HE DIED IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN.
THE SECOND WAS ELECTROCUTED.
HIS ARM CAUGHT IN HIGH-TENSION WIRES.
THE THIRD, THE ONE SHE WAS TO MARRY,
IN A BIZARRE GARDENING ACCIDENT.
HE FELL FROM A TREE WHEN THE MEN BELOW WERE SWINGING THEIR MACHETES
AND TOOK HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF.
YOU THINK I'M GONNA BE THE FOURTH GUY?
AS I SAID, SOME WOULD SAY IT'S SUPERSTITION,
OTHERS WOULD SAY IT'S...
SAY IT'S WHAT?
THE EVIL EYE.
[LAUGHING]
"THE EVIL EYE"?
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT EXOTIC POISONS?
NOTHING.
[GROWLING]
WHERE'S SAKEASI? HOME BY NOW.
I WARNED SUNDIP THAT I'D FIRE HIM IF HE DIDN'T GIVE UP DRINKING.
I GUESS HE TOOK HIM HOME SO HE COULD SLEEP IT OFF.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH THE POWER? BRIAN?
HMM? BATTERIES ON THE PLASMA SCREEN ARE RUNNING DOWN,
AND I'VE GOT 200 BOTTLES OF VERY EXPENSIVE WINE
REACHING AN UNDRINKABLE TEMPERATURE UP THERE.
[ROARING]
MUST HAVE HAD ENOUGH DAMN FIJIAN MUSIC TO LAST ME THREE LIFETIMES.
YOU GET THE POWER WORKING. YOU GET IT NOW. YES, SIR.
CAN YOU GET THEM TO SHUT UP?
NOT WHILE YOU'RE AROUND.
THEY SENSE WHEN SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE THEM.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME.
EVERY CENT I'VE GOT IS TIED UP IN THERE.
THEY'RE MY LICENSE TO PRINT MONEY.
I LOVE THEM, DAMN IT!
THE POWER-- YOU FIX IT.
SOUNDS LIKE HE'S OFF THEIR CHRISTMAS LIST.
[CHUCKLES]
ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET THIS SIDE. YOU TAKE THAT SIDE.
I FOUND IT!
NO WAY! I DID. I FOUND IT.
[LAUGHING] NO FREAKING WAY!
OH, MY GOD. THIS IS IT.
THIS IS IT!
HERE. MAKE SURE YOU GET THE WHOLE THING. ALL RIGHT?
READY? READY.
CHEESE.
[CAMERA BEEPS] [ALYS LAUGHS]
YOU GOT IT?
YEAH.
LET ME SEE.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I DID THE CALCULATIONS OF THE ODDS OF FINDING A COTTON...
COME ON. LET'S GO.
GET.
IT'S TOTALLY CRASHED. [BEEPING]
NOW I GET TO TELL NILES THAT HE PAID
2.8 MILLION FOR THIS PIECE OF CRAP.
OH, WELL.
SINCE WE'RE AT LOOSE ENDS,
MAYBE, UH...
I CAN, UH, TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING ELSE.
OH.
[BOTH LAUGH]
YOU OKAY? YEAH.
UM--
NO, I'M...
CRAZY ABOUT YOU.
I WAS TOO FORWARD, WASN'T I?
I WAS AFRAID I WOULD TURN YOU OFF. I REALLY LIKE YOU, BRIAN.
I'M SORRY. IT'S NOT THAT. I'VE HEARD THINGS.
YOU KNOW? [WHISTLES]
MY EVIL EYE? YEAH.
AND YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAID? NO. OF COURSE NOT.
IT'S JUST THAT YOU LOSE ONE BOYFRIEND AND THAT'S A TRAGEDY.
YOU LOSE THREE BOYFRIENDS, AND IT LOOKS LIKE CARELESSNESS.
IT WAS A COINCIDENCE.
YOU AFRAID? ME? [LAUGHS]
NO.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE HEARD ABOUT IT.
MAYBE I'M JUST GONNA NEED SOME TIME TO MULL IT OVER,
OR BUY SOME LIFE INSURANCE.
LOOK, MAYBE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE BLAMED FOR
THE TERRIBLE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER.
OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST LIKE
EVERY OTHER STUPID, INSENSITIVE MALE.
EITHER WAY, I'M GONNA GO HAVE A DRINK.
FEEL FREE NOT TO JOIN ME.
[MAN LAUGHING] [PEOPLE CHATTERING]
GREAT SPEECH, NILES, BUT IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE
THAN YOUR USUAL RATION OF BULL TO IMPRESS ME.
I'M NOT TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU.
I JUST WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. COME ON.
COME ON.
500-ROOM HOTEL,
ADJOINING AMUSEMENT PARK AND ZOO.
THAT'S IT?
A HOTEL AND A ZOO?
NILES, YOU'RE ON THE CUTTING EDGE HERE, MY FRIEND...
OF DULL-- MONUMENTALLY DULL.
BUT THEN IT WOULD BE UNFAIR OF ME TO EXPECT ANY KIND OF ORIGINAL THINKING FROM YOU.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
HAVE YOUR PEOPLE SEND THE PROSPECTUS TO MY ATTORNEYS.
BUT WAIT.
THERE'S MORE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF YOU'D CARE TO FOLLOW ME.
AREN'T THOSE, LIKE, OLD WEAPONS ON THE BACK WALL?
YEAH.
WOW!
COOL STUFF!
CLUBS, HATCHETS, SWORDS. NO SPEARS.
LOOK OVER HERE.
WHOO-HOO!
LET'S GO. [LAUGHING]
SO NILES, FESS UP.
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE MANAGED A FLUKE HERE, BUT WHY NOT?
WE ALL GET LUCKY SOONER OR LATER.
YOU RELY ON LUCK. I RELY ON PLANNING.
THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US. NO, NO, NILES.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS REALLY MUCH SIMPLER.
IT'S THE BOTTOM LINE.
SEE, IF YOU SELL A SHARE OF MY COMMON STOCK,
YOU CAN BUY YOURSELF A BRAND-NEW BEEMER, FULLY LOADED.
BUT YOU SELL A SHARE OF YOUR COMMON STOCK,
YOU JUST MIGHT GET IT TO STRETCH TO A BOTTLE OF TWO-BUCK CHUCK.
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY KNOW YOUR WINES, GRANT.
WHEN PRIMAL PARK IS FRANCHISED WORLDWIDE,
YOU'RE GOING TO BE SELLING YOUR FIRSTBORN JUST TO BUY AN OPTION FOR ONE SHARE.
I CAN'T WAIT TO STOMP ALL OVER YOUR DREAMS.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED BIGGER BOOTS.
MUCH BIGGER.
OOH.
WHAT IN THE...
[ROBBIE] ALL RIGHT. SEE HOW LESS PIXILATED THIS ONE IS?
IT'S GOT SO MANY DOTS PER INCH.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT. ONE, TWO, THREE.
THREE OUT OF FIVE. THAT'S A START.
YEAH, WELL, FINDING CANNIBAL FORKS
AIN'T EXACTLY THE SLAM DUNK IT USED TO BE, SO I'M GONNA--
[NILES] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF YOU CARE TO FOLLOW ME.
OH, MAN. GO, GO, GO.
DO BE CAREFUL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
IT'S STILL A CONSTRUCTION SITE, AS YOU CAN SEE.
AFTER YOU.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME AFTER ME.
I MEAN, I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA COME AFTER ME.
WELL, I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO THINK I WAS CHASING AFTER YOU.
WHAT? I WAS REALLY OUT OF LINE BACK THERE.
I WAS A STUPID, UM-- WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?
STUPID, INSENSITIVE MALE.
RIGHT, THAT.
I'M REALLY SORRY THAT I WAS THAT.
OKAY. DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?
YEAH.
I THINK IT'S IN THE MAIN SWITCHBOARD.
I THINK I'M GONNA GO CHECK IT OUT.
OKAY.
[DOOR SLAMS] WE'RE DEAD. LET'S GO.
THIS WAY.
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
LOOKS LIKE SOME SORT OF LABORATORY.
OH, ROBBIE, CHECK THIS OUT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?
I DON'T KNOW.
AN INCUBATOR?
AWFULLY BIG THOUGH FOR HATCHING EGGS.
WHY WOULD THEY NEED AN INCUBATOR?
REMEMBER ALL THOSE SIGNS FOR AN ANIMAL PARK OR SOMETHING?
MAYBE THIS IS PART OF THEIR ANIMAL BREEDING THING.
OH, GOD!
I'M GONNA BE SICK.
FETUSES.
PROBABLY SOME PREMATURELY BORN ANIMALS.
[ALAINA GROANS]
THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE SOME SORT OF MUTATED CAT.
I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE...NOW.
[TIGER SNARLING]
[TIGER GROWLING IN DISTANCE]
[GROWLING CONTINUES]
[GASPS]
[SCREAMING]
ALAINA!
ALAINA?
[ALAINA SCREAMING IN DISTANCE]
ALAINA?
[DISTANT SCREAMING CONTINUES]
ALAINA!
[ROARING] [SCREAMING]
[FLESH RIPPING] [SCREAMING]
[SNARLING]
[TIGER GROWLING] [BANGING ON DOOR]
HEY, WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO?
[CHUCKLES]
WHAT'S THAT? IT'S A CONCH.
GREAT EARRINGS. THANKS.
YOU'RE CUTE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? KIRK.
I'M SHARONA. OH, AS IN "M-M-M-MY SHARONA."
WOW. NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE.
THANKS.
SO, KIRK, WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?
DOES A BEAR DUMP IN THE WOODS? [CHUCKLES]
SAVANNAH.
WHAT'S WRONG? THE CATS ARE GONE.
WHAT? HOW?
WHEN THE POWER WENT OFF, ALL THE DOORS OPENED.
NILES AND THE OTHERS ARE TOURING THE FOREST.
IF THE CATS ARE LOOSE-- NO, I TOLD NILES NOT TO HAVE ANYONE OUT THERE.
WE GOTTA GET EVERYONE BACK TO THE HOTEL.
NILE INVESTED MILLIONS IN THOSE ANIMALS.
I DON'T CARE. I'VE GOT THREE STAFF MEMBERS THAT ARE MISSING.
I DON'T PLAN ON BEING NUMBER FOUR.
THEY ARE TOO IMPORTANT TO DESTROY.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF THAT THEY'VE HURT ANYONE.
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!
OH! HEY!
WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING DOWN HERE?
WE GOT LOST. RIGHT.
IT'S NOT SAFE DOWN HERE, ALL RIGHT?
IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS BLACKOUT, I SWEAR--
HEY, DON'T LOOK AT US. WE JUST WANTED TO SEE THE PARK AND WE ENDED UP IN HERE.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S TRESPASSING.
WE'LL LET THE POLICE ON THE MAINLAND SORT THIS OUT.
[STATIC ON RADIO] SHOOT, THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK.
DO WE REALLY NEED TO INVOLVE THE POLICE?
YEAH, WE DO.
HEY! RUN!
HEY!
WHAT IF HE SHOOTS US?
FOR TRESPASSING?
AW, DAMN. I LOST A CONTACT.
I ONLY GOT 'EM LAST WEEK.
I KNOW. I'M ON MY SECOND PAIR THIS MONTH.
[BOTH SCREAMING]
STAY THERE!
[GROANS, PANTING]
WHAT'S WRONG? YOU GUYS HURT?
[GASPS]
[BRIAN] OH, MY GOD!
HOW MANY OF YOU ARE IN HERE? AND SHE ONLY COUNTS AS ONE.
JUST US.
HOW MANY?
FIVE. FIVE?
I MEAN, THERE WERE FIVE.
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.
WHERE ARE THE OTHERS? WE DON'T KNOW.
STOP THE BULL CRAP, OKAY?
UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT, OR WORSE.
THERE'S A WORSE THAN THAT?
YEAH.
SMALLER PIECES.
WHAT DID THAT?
YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
I'LL TELL YOU THIS THOUGH-- IT'S STILL OUT THERE.
YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
LET'S GO OUT THIS WAY. WATCH YOUR STEP.
THIS BLOOD'S REAL SLIPPERY.
YOU MIGHT FALL AND HURT YOURSELF.
GO.
COME ON.
[GROANS]
¶ [SINGING IN FIJIAN]
[GRANT] NILES.
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
WELL, THAT'S UNFORTUNATE.
THERE'S STILL SOMETHING I THINK YOU'D WANT TO SEE.
I THINK NOT. AUTUMN, GRAB YOUR THINGS. WE'RE OUT OF HERE.
YOU KNOW, GRANT, I'M NOT FEELING VERY WELL.
MAYBE WE COULD HAVE SOME PRIVACY AND I COULD SIT DOWN FOR A WHILE.
THERE'S A COUCH IN MY OFFICE.
BRIAN, COME IN.
I'M WORRIED.
HE'S A BIG BOY.
IT'S A BIG CAT.
COME ON. GO. GO.
ROBBIE'S COMPUTER.
HE'S GOT TO BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
HE'D DIE BEFORE HE'D LEAVE THIS LYING AROUND.
[SAVANNAH ON RADIO] BRIAN, COME IN.
PLEASE, GIVE ME A STATUS ON THE POWER, SOMETHING.
[BRIAN ON RADIO, INDISTINCT]
WHAT? SAY AGAIN.
[STATIC]
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
SACHARIAH, HOLD ON.
[STATIC ON RADIO] [GRUNTS]
[METAL BANGING]
[BRIAN] LOOKS LIKE ONE OF YOURS.
ROBBIE! [GRUNTS]
[GASPING]
YOU ALL RIGHT?
I THINK SO.
I MUST HAVE LOCKED MYSELF IN.
THANK GOD YOU'RE OKAY.
BUT ALAINA, SHE'S--
IT CAME OUT OF FREAKIN' NOWHERE. THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. NOBODY'S BLAMING YOU.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. I'M BLAMING ME!
I JUST LET HER RUN OUT THERE AND GET TORN UP, AND I GOTTA LIVE WITH THAT.
COME ON.
LET'S GET YOU OUT OF HERE.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
[NILES] PLEASE, MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.
GLASS OF WATER? THAT WOULD BE NICE.
YOU ALL RIGHT, AUTUMN? I'M FINE.
THERE.
THANK YOU.
SO, NILES, LET'S CUT THE CRAP.
WHAT DO YOU REALLY HAVE GOING ON HERE?
IT'S CALLED SMILODON FATALIS.
WHAT? WHAT FATALIS?
SMILODON.
IT'S A PREHISTORIC CAT...
BORN AND BRED RIGHT HERE ON THE ISLAND.
AND YOU KNOW THE BEST PART?
IT WEIGHS 785 POUNDS.
NILES, EVEN BY YOUR STANDARDS, THAT SOUNDS LIKE PURE BULL.
PREHISTORIC CAT?
IT'S WHAT YOU TODAY WOULD INCORRECTLY CALL A SABER-TOOTHED TIGER.
NOT ONE, BUT TWO. MALE AND FEMALE.
BOTH PERFECT BREEDING SPECIMENS. [CHUCKLES]
I'VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU, NILES.
IM-POSSIBLE.
[CHUCKLING]
YOU KNOW, ANYONE WITH A CHEMISTRY DEGREE CAN DO CLONING THESE DAYS.
YOU KNOW, THE REAL TRICK IS ACQUIRING THE BASE MATERIAL.
THE DNA.
YOU SEE, IT'S ASSUMED THAT DNA IS LOST IN FOSSILIZED MATERIAL.
THAT'S NOT TRUE. WE'VE SUCCEEDED.
THE RESULTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES.
I'VE NEVER REALLY LIKED YOU, NILES, BUT IF WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME IS TRUE--
IT IS TRUE.
AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT.
WELL, EVERYTHING'S NEGOTIABLE.
LIKE THE TIME YOU TRIED THE HOSTILE TAKEOVER BID FOR MY TV NETWORK.
YOU DIDN'T REALLY WANT IT.
YOU JUST WANTED TO SEE ME SPEND ALL MY CASH DEFENDING A TAKEOVER.
BUT THAT WAS A BUSINESS DECISION. IT WASN'T PERSONAL.
SO IS THIS.
EXCUSE ME, SIR. THE INVESTORS ARE READY TO SIGN.
WELL, FIND ALAN. I'M BUSY.
I CAN'T FIND HIM.
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME.
NILES, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE THEM.
YOU'RE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO PULL THIS OFF.
YOU STICK AROUND. YOU'LL SEE HOW SMART I AM.
AUTUMN, LET'S GO. TIME TO EARN YOUR PAY.
SO, WHERE DO YOU THINK THE SAFE IS?
WELL, UNLESS HE'S HAD A BRAIN TRANSPLANT
AND EXPANDED HIS MENTAL CAPACITY,
HE WOULD NORMALLY KEEP THEM
IN SOME FAKE BOOKS BEHIND HIS DESK.
OKAY, STAY CLOSE.
[TIGER SNARLING]
BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK!
OH, GOD. [LAUGHING]
I LOVE SOMEBODY WHO'S SO PREDICTABLE.
YOU CAN OPEN THAT, RIGHT? PLEASE.
I TELL YOU, IF NILES' BRAINS WERE DYNAMITE,
HE COULDN'T EVEN BLOW HIS NOSE.
OH, I WOULD LOVE TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL
WHEN HE DISCOVERS ALL HIS RESEARCH PATENTS AND SECRETS
ARE ALL OVER THE INTERNET... FOR FREE.
YOU REALLY CAN OPEN THAT, RIGHT, AUTUMN?
GRANT, I'LL DO THE SINGING. YOU SIGN THE LARGE CHECKS.
RIGHT.
FOLLOW ME.
GET IN THERE. YOU CLOSE THE DOOR. DON'T COME OUT.
[LION ROARS]
[SNARLING]
HEY!
[GAS HISSING]
[GAS TANK CLANGS]
COME ON.
OH, COME ON! [LIGHTER FLICKING]
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
[LAUGHING] IT'S KINDA PUBLIC RIGHT HERE.
I SAID IT'S TOO PUBLIC. OKAY. OKAY.
[CARCASS SIZZLING]
YOU GUYS ALL RIGHT?
[ROBBIE] UH-HUH.
SO...IS THAT IT?
IS THAT WHAT-- YUP.
THAT'S WHAT TORE YOUR FRIEND'S HEAD OFF BACK THERE, I THINK.
THERE'S ANOTHER ONE OUT THERE.
WAIT. ANOTHER ONE?
BIGGER ONE.
MALE.
LET'S GO THIS WAY. COME ON. FOLLOW ME. STAY CLOSE.
[COUGHING]
[SIZZLING CONTINUES]
[DEVICE BEEPS]
BINGO.
OH, AUTUMN, YOU ARE REALLY SOMETHING.
[BEEPING]
[GRANT] ALL HIS BACKUP DATA, ALL HIS FILES.
YOU KNOW, THANKS TO YOU, EVERYTHING HE KNOWS, I KNOW.
AUTUMN, DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A BILLION DOLLARS TO YOU?
COME ON, DARLING. TIME TO MAKE A GRACEFUL EXIT.
THIS PRIVATE ENOUGH?
[GIGGLING]
I'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF THESE WET CLOTHES.
MMM.
[GROWLING]
MMM.
[GASPS]
[SHARONA LAUGHS]
[SHARONA SCREAMING]
HEY! HELP! HELP!
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
¶ [SINGING IN FIJIAN]
[SHARONA SCREAMING]
WHOA! HEY!
WATCH WHERE YOU POINT THAT THING.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? A BARBECUE.
THANK GOD YOU'RE OKAY. SAVANNAH'S WORRIED SICK.
IS SHE SAFE? IS SHE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY?
COLLEGE KIDS.
THERE'S LITTLE BITS OF ONE AROUND THE CORNER.
THE CATS-- HOW OFTEN DO YOU FEED 'EM?
ONCE A DAY.
ABOUT 30, MAYBE 40 POUNDS OF FRESH MEAT.
YOUR FRIEND BACK THERE-- WHAT DOES SHE WEIGH?
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT?
I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP, OKAY?
ANYONE KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN? YEAH.
I LOVE GUNS.
PLEASE.
OKAY. BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU, THERE COULD BE MORE THAN ONE
ROAMING AROUND OUT THERE.
THERE WERE TWO AND I KILLED ONE.
UNLESS I'M MISSING SOMETHING, YOU START WITH TWO, YOU BLOW ONE UP, YOU END UP WITH ONE.
I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU. WE BRED THREE.
THREE?
THREE MINUS ONE WOULD BE--
NILES KEPT IT CAGED IN THE GENETIC RESEARCH LABORATORY.
SOMETHING WENT WRONG WHEN THEY CLONED IT.
IT'S A GIANT UGLY BASTARD.
IT WEIGHS ABOUT A TON.
THAT'S A LOT OF PUSSY.
IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
THE WHOLE BACK HALF OF ITS BODY IS LIKE JELL-O.
IT DRAGS ITSELF AROUND ON ITS FRONT LEGS.
IT'S SLOW,
SO YOU WON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS
UNLESS IT GETS YOU CORNERED AT NIGHT.
[BRIAN] WAIT. GO BACK TO THE EARLIER BIT.
DRAGS ITSELF AROUND ON ITS FRONT LEGS?
YEAH. I CAN HANDLE THAT.
DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE DEAD FREAKS IN THE JARS?
YES, BUT THIS ONE LIVED. I TRIED TO WARN NILES, BUT HE WOULDN'T LISTEN.
THEY DON'T JUST KILL TO EAT.
WE RAN SOME TESTS. IT TURNS OUT THAT THE CATS ARE BULIMIC.
THEY LOVE TO EAT, BUT THEY CAN'T KEEP THEIR FOOD DOWN.
THEY KILL, THEY EAT, THEN THEY THROW UP.
THAT EXPLAINS THE ABNORMAL NUMBER OF BODY PARTS.
THEY LIKE TO KILL MORE THAN THEY LIKE TO EAT.
[BRIAN] AND WE KNOW THEY LOVE TO EAT. HERE.
IT MAKES A BIG FIRST IMPRESSION.
SO, DO YOU RECOMMEND A BODY SHOT OR STRAIGHT TO THE HEAD?
ABOUT HERE IS A GOOD START.
[BRIAN] ALL RIGHT, FOLLOW ME. LET'S GO.
[ROARING]
FEELING BETTER?
SHE'S FINE. WE'RE LEAVING. BUT YOU CAN'T.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE ANIMALS IN PERSON YET.
I DON'T NEED TO. THERE'S NOTHING HERE THAT INTERESTS ME. WE'RE OUT OF HERE.
BUT YOU CAN'T! WATCH ME.
AUTUMN.
NILES? WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON DOWN HERE? THEY'RE GETTING RESTLESS.
I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I CAN KEEP THEM HERE. THERE'S A DEAD GIRL DOWN THERE.
WHAT?
WELL, PIECES OF HER ANYWAY AND GOD KNOWS WHO ELSE.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL KEEP THEM HERE. YOU GO FIND MY CATS.
FROM THE TRACKS THAT I SAW, THEY'RE HEADED FOR AREA 15.
IT'S WARMER THERE. THAT'S WHERE I'LL START.
GRANT AND THAT LITTLE AIRHEAD-- THEY'RE RUNNING AROUND.
WELL, YOU'D BETTER FIND THEM.
LOOK. I'M SO CLOSE. LET'S NOT THROW THIS AWAY.
I MEAN, THE KID-- THE MONEY I'M GONNA GENERATE,
I CAN STRING A COURT CASE OUT FOR YEARS.
DAMN YOU, NILES. THEY RIPPED A KID APART
AND YOU SEE IT AS SOME MINOR LEGAL OBSTACLE.
DON'T YOU CARE JUST A LITTLE?
SAVANNAH, PEOPLE PAINT ME AS A HEARTLESS BASTARD, BUT I'M NOT. YOU KNOW THAT.
THIS WHOLE KID GETTING RIPPED APART BY A TIGER THING, IT'LL BLOW OVER.
I'M TELLING YOU, IN TWO WEEKS, THE MEDIA AND THE PUBLIC--
THEY HAVE AN ATTENTION SPAN LIKE THAT.
THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.
RIGHT NOW I'VE GOT SOME KILLING OF MY OWN TO DO.
HOLD IT HERE.
HEY...
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT...
I DON'T REALLY THINK YOU'RE A BITCH.
WELL, THAT REALLY MAKES MY DAY.
SO, I CAN ASK YOU A QUESTION AND YOU WON'T GET MAD?
DEPENDS.
FAIR ENOUGH.
WHAT'S UP WITH THE WHOLE GOTH THING?
I MEAN, IF YOU WANNA BE A NONCONFORMIST, WHY DRESS LIKE ALL THE OTHER GOTHS?
BECAUSE EVEN IF THERE WERE NO OTHER GOTHS,
I'D STILL WEAR BLACK, I'D STILL DO MY MAKEUP LIKE THIS
AND I'D STILL LISTEN TO MUSIC THAT I LIKE.
NOT EVERYONE IN A GROUP THINKS THE SAME.
DON'T JUDGE ME! OKAY?
OKAY.
BITCH.
THERE'S SOMETHING DOWN THERE.
IF ONLY WE HAD POWER, I COULD SEE WHAT I'M DOING.
UM--
I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE POWER FAILURE THING?
KIND OF MY FAULT. I INTRODUCED A VIRUS INTO THE SYSTEM.
NICE ONE, EINSTEIN.
BUT I THINK I KNOW HOW TO GET THE POWER BACK UP. HOW?
IN THE SECURITY ROOM, THE PIECES GOT BACKUP POWER.
IF I CAN FIND A BACKUP DISK, I CAN RELOAD THE SYSTEM.
ARE YOU NUTS? WE'RE NOT GOING BACK THAT WAY.
IT'S WORTH THE RISK IF WE CAN STOP THIS NOW.
WE'D STAND A BETTER CHANCE IF THE REGULAR LIGHTING WAS WORKING.
AT LEAST WE'D SEE WHAT WE WERE SHOOTING AT.
BRIAN. YOU TELL ME THIS WHOLE DAMN MESS IS OVER.
I'D HATE TO BE THE ONE TO INFORM YOU, BUT THE FAT LADY HASN'T SUNG YET.
YES, BUT MY CATS ARE UNHARMED?
NICE TO KNOW YOUR HEART'S IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO. [GROANS]
WHERE'S SAVANAH? I DON'T KNOW!
LOOK.
I PAY YOUR WAGES. YOU LISTEN TO ME.
YOU FIND SAVANAH, YOU FIND MY CATS AND YOU KEEP THEM SAFE.
BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE ARE WORTH MILLIONS TO ME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
I DON'T THINK YOU GET IT. IT'S OVER.
THIS WHOLE THING IS OVER.
TWENTY FEET BELOW US IS COMPLETE CARNAGE. LOOKS LIKE BAGHDAD.
PARTY OVER.
[CHUCKLES] I'D GIVE MY RIGHT ARM JUST FOR ONE EMPLOYEE
WHO DIDN'T BITCH AND MOAN HIS WAY THROUGH THE WHOLE DAY.
[TIGER GROWLING]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANS]
[LIQUID DRIPPING]
[GROWLING]
DAMN IT!
[PANTING]
OH, MAN.
WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING?
SHUT UP.
YOU KNOW, GRANT, I CAN SEE WHY YOU'RE SO LOVED.
IF I NEED LOVE, I'LL BUY IT, INCLUDING YOU.
DREAM ON, JACKASS. NOT FOR ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD.
WHEN WE GET BACK, PERHAPS I WON'T EVEN PAY YA.
MR. CONGENIALITY.
[TIGER GROWLING]
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? IT SOUNDED CLOSE.
HURRY IT UP, SON. OKAY.
OKAY, BACKUPS, BACKUPS. WHERE DO YOU KEEP THE BACKUPS?
OKAY.
THIS HAS LAST WEEK'S DATE ON IT? LET ME SEE.
THIS IS IT.
[TYPING] [TIGER GROWLING]
IT'S WORKING.
YOU SURE? YEAH.
ALL RIGHT. ALWAYS PAYS TO BACK UP.
[GROWLING]
LIGHTS SHOULD GO ON AT ANY--
[SCREAMING]
YOU HEAR THAT?
[GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
[FLESH RIPPING] [TIGER GROWLING]
OH, MY GOD.
I'VE GOT TO ADMIT, HE'S LOOKED BETTER.
[ALL GASP]
¶ [SINGING IN FIJIAN] [PEOPLE CHATTERING, LAUGHING]
STOP THE MUSIC.
LISTEN TO ME, EVERYBODY.
THERE'S SOME VERY DANGEROUS ANIMALS THAT HAVE ESCAPED.
THEY'VE ALREADY KILLED TWO PEOPLE AND THEY'RE HEADED THIS DIRECTION.
I NEED YOU TO GET BACK TO YOUR ROOMS IMMEDIATELY--
YOU'LL RUIN ME, DAMN YOU! I HAVEN'T STARTED RUINING YOU!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR.
PRIMAL PARK IS QUITE SAFE. PLEASE, LISTEN.
LISTEN--
LISTEN TO ME!
[PEOPLE CHATTERING] [WOMAN] LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. COME ON.
HONEY, LET'S GO.
KEEP UP, DAMN IT. YOU DON'T WANNA WIND UP AS CAT CHOW.
[GROWLING]
BITCH.
KEEP UP, DAMN IT. YOU DON'T WANNA END UP AS CAT CHOW.
[TIGER GROWLING]
[GROWLING]
NO! SAVANAH, NO!
DAMN YOU, NILES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[SHOUTING] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SHH.
[GROWLING] [SCREAMING]
COME ON, COME ON!
[GROWLING CONTINUES]
COME ON!
[BANGING ON DOOR]
STOP IT! I CREATED YOU! STOP IT!
[SCREAMING]
[TIGER GROWLING]
SO THAT'S IT, RIGHT? WE GOT ALL THREE, YEAH?
YEAH, I TOASTED ONE OF 'EM.
AND I THINK I HIT THE OTHER ONE IN THE TUNNEL BACK THERE.
HE PROBABLY CRAWLED AWAY TO DIE.
OH, GOD. HE MAY HAVE BEEN AN IDIOT,
BUT HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE LIKE THIS.
WRONG PLACE, RIGHT TIME.
LET'S MAKE THAT THE END OF THE EVIL EYE.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
GRANT?
[TIGER GROWLING] [FLESH RIPPING]